There are so many important topics to discuss in these chapters and with the short film on bullying, how does a girl choose? Chapter 6 describes the development of early childhood ages 2-6. At these ages, the brain and the body are not growing as fast as they did in infancy, however, the brain is making major neuronal connections to begin the journey of memory and the development of other cognitive skills. It seems as though everything has slowed down as far as physical growth, and we began to discover if all the growth done in infancy manifests in appropriate physical and motor skills, cognitive and language development, and how effective family and learning environments are for this age group. We also get to witness how a sense of self is developed, what gender roles are revealed, and if "play involves developing social skills and awareness of enjoyment...[if] play also impact other areas of development" (Fiore p. 149). This chapter also informs readers of the importance of children's artwork showing how "children's drawings not only are good clues to their motor coordination but also provide insights into their cognitive and emotional lives" (Fiore p. 151). This chapter is quite informative on hot topics that may effect early childhood like parenting styles, and discipline.
The hot topics that I can most relate to, are parenting styles, the effects of spanking, and gender development. I am totally an authoritative parent, as I definitely respond to my children's needs and some of their wishes, I believe that my husband and I are in control, and we probably lecture them about behaviors 2-3 times a day. Because of the many lectures, and them seeming to understand, we expect them to be mature, despite the daily meal time disruptions. We definitely encourage their independence (my husband more so than myself) as they at 8, 7, and 5 years of age are all able to clean up their toys, make their beds (changing their linen), dress themselves, proper hygiene, put their clothes away in the right places (hamper and drawers), load and unload the dishwasher. Now the effects of spanking, as mentioned during the infancy chapters, are only used when the children will cause great harm to themselves or others. We have developed discipline over the time and as they get older and wiser, the discipline change. Some things work while others don't, and even so, it depends on the day, time, and the child. For the most part my oldest, 8 year old son, is not a fan of writing lines stating how he will not do something, and that is working for him for now. For both boys holding in a push-up position or sitting position against the wall with their arms out seems to be very effective, and the punishment doubles to build their little muscles as well. My daughter is the rebel of all rebels! She came here, I believe, just to prove me wrong and torture me. Nothing seems to work with her; she already know she is the only girl, and the youngest. She is very outgoing, loud, and just an all around antagonist. She talks a lot, and take longer than she should to eat dinner unless it's tacos. We are patiently trying to be consistent with the rules, and so far consistency has worked a little, but she is definitely wearing us thin. Hopefully she calms down, all suggestions are welcomed, and P.S., spankings never worked for her (not time out, push-up position, taking toys away, or even her missing out on treats). As far as gender is concerned, we have made no attempts to force one or the other, we pretty much play all the roles in the house as my husband and I both cook, do dishes, take out the trash, laundry, work (I have worked), comb hair, baths, and homework. He does fix everything that breaks in the house, and do the majority of the yard work, but I clean the bathrooms so we are even! It does seem as though once they started school that they were influenced by peers to make a difference in gender; boys play with boys and girls play with girls. My oldest son gravitated towards legos, building things, carefully organizing toys, and has always been a stickler for rules since he was an infant. The middle child is a natural athlete and technical guy, and likes to look good too. The youngest is rough, tough, likes to dress up very fancy for all and any occasion, and did I mention she is very loud?!
In Chapter 7 middle childhood is discussed. Middle childhood is considered ages 7-11. This age group is also growing at a very slow rate, but "the brain continues forming stronger connections...the brain has reached about the size it will be in adulthood" (Fiore p. 157). This is the age where morals, critical thinking, and problem solving skills are noticed. Social skills developed from early childhood by parents and other influential adults are now seen to sprout relationships with peers and other outsiders. They are aware of changes within themselves and compared to others. This also leads to self-esteem and "any discrepancy between the perceived ideal self and the real self can be a strong motivating force" (Fiore p. 173). This chapter interprets the roles of expectations and achievements, technology, stress, child abuse, and neglect, all have on middle childhood. Relating to middle childhood and beyond, is a nationwide epidemic of bullying. CBS' 48 hour report of Bullying: Words Can Kill, gave us a brief, but very real picture of what middle childhood aged children and older are experiencing when hurtful words are said and typed, and how constant negative behavior including physical harm are the cause of low self esteem leading to self harm up to death and suicide amongst this age group. I have personally experienced bullying in middle childhood all because a group of girls were being neglected by their parents. My mom always made sure I practiced proper hygiene and looked nice for school with her added grooming. I was pushed into bushes and called bad names. I told my mother after two instances and she quickly acted! She went directly to the parents of these girls, she knew them from childhood herself, and informed them of the events that took place. The parents had no clue, and quickly handled the situations. I had little to no lasting effects from my experience with bullying, as I am confident in myself and my decisions. And for the record, I hope to never experience this issue with my children. Their school is proactive as they educate the children on bullying and other behaviors not tolerated at school. Another issue that may become a problem later for my children is cultural diversity. I am labeled "African-American", and my husband, "Caucasian". Our children are a mixture of both, with features not too revealing of either. Because we live in a predominantly black and hispanic neighborhood, I am afraid that peers will attempt to persuade them to pick one race over the other. We are teaching them how an individual defines who they are alone, and does not speak for a majority, but social media and other influences seems to be hard to compete with. Here's to hoping that we can use media to spread love, and we can all help to spread love in our immediate surroundings as well.
I very much enjoyed reading your blog today about your daughter and it shows your love for your children. I was spanked as a child as my parents had their last child they stopped spanking and using a different method with taking electronics away and/or talking to him and letting him know what he did wrong. Spanking isn't the most effective method because as a child i remember being spanked at times and then being sent to my room and i was utmost lost and was like what did i do wrong until my parents talked to me later, as i was wondering "why didn't you tell me that earlier before i got spanked, i wish i got the alternative methods honesty but all is good and well.The middle school years for me were quite interesting as bullying is at any middle school but i kept quiet and the kids knew who i were, i was more of a quiet protector and protected and stopped bullying as strange as that sounds.
ReplyDeleteI think realizing the right discipline method for each child is important. I also agree that some misbehavior merits a different level of punishment. I will not tolerate lying, stealing, or disrespect at all. This is a non negotiable for my wife and myself and the consequences are dire. I believe if a child misbehaves at home, they are prone to take it a step further outside of the home. If they are disrespectful to me at home it would easy to be this way toward adults. I know kids don't understand this concept but we live in a time where disrespect towards authority translates to resisting arrest. It may be perceived as insubordination at the job and that's why it is important to treat some actions more seriously then others. I can't wait until it all clicks for them, until then I'll keep praying.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. So much to choose from but I liked that you emphasized gender. Much of society confuses gender with sex. Gender is a very complicated sense of identity that comes from a variety of sources. Socialization and modeling from parents and even friends play a major role. In my opinion gender is a topic that needs more attention paid to it within development because it is influenced by so many forces.
ReplyDeleteYou had me laughing about your daughter! That is too funny. My little sister is the youngest of us 4 and she is quite loud herself. Way louder than the rest of us. I love your method of parenting, it sounds like you and your husband work well as a team. It sounds like consistency is working, I wish you luck! What you said about cultural diversity is sad to hear. It is such a shame that with such advancements in this world that this is still a worry, especially for parents that are prepping their kids. I hope that one day soon it becomes less of a discussion and that acceptance becomes more prevalent in our schools.
ReplyDeleteRenita,
ReplyDeleteI hate that you were bullied as a child. Kids can be so mean and I feel like it is worse today with all of the new technology for them to abuse. I think you are doing a great job with your children and teaching them the right way to treat other kids.